SSABlog#61

I come to the SSA column more often than anyone, and for many reasons. The most obvious is that I write the column. Anoother reason that I visit frequently is to view and try out our sponsors. The program we use for ads is Google. While I am not a fan of advertising per se, I have come to realize that I simply could not afford to spponsor this website myself. Given that it was ncessary to use advertising, I am relying on Google to have good ads to my readers. So of course I click often and visit the sponsors. What I have found, much to my own surprise, that there are services and products that I have found and used here on the SSA site. I do keep an eye out, but if there are ads that you find disturbing, please let me know. At the moment, only ads for tobacco products are blocked, and I am not seeing a problem there.

SO....Given all that, do click on a sponsor ad. Internet services, and marketing on the internet is the newest success and the way of the future. Some great information and products are out there for YOU...

Thank you, Michelle, for your good advice on my marriage. I am a

married woman and have limits to my "free spiritedness." Self

exploration is not worth wrecking my marriage.

Thanks again.

Not-So-Free Spirit in Missouri

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Free Spirit;

There are so many rewarding and wonderful ways for you to explore life. As
an enthusastic "Life Sampler" myself, traveling and seeing new places, meeting
people of different cultures helps bring a broader understanding of others and
a better understanding of myself.

You can join an activity group like bike riding, a women's support group,
church groups or even community theater. Get out and see and do different
things. Try to include your husband. Getting a hobby that you can enjoy together
can bring new sparks into your relationship.

And of course, there is always volunteer work.to be done. Take a few days or
a week off work and go down to Louisiana. Habitat for Humanity can use you,
and you get a free attitude adjustment with every hour of work!

Michelle

PUSHERS AND PULLERS

One woman tells of a time her dog disappeared. After searching diligently, she placed a "lost dog" ad in the local newspaper.

The following morning her phone rang and a weak, cracking voice began, "I'm calling about your dog." Then the caller coughed and cleared her voice a few times. She explained that she wasn't feeling well and that, in fact, she had not felt well since her husband's death three years ago. She went on to relate that her parents, too, had passed away since then and her sister was diagnosed with a fatal ailment. Even her friends, she continued, were not doing well, and she gave details of their various maladies and described the funerals of several of them.

After 30 minutes of listening, sympathizing and even trying offers of help, the dog owner steered the conversation back to the original subject. "About the dog," she began.

"Oh," the caller replied, "I don't have him. I just thought I'd call to cheer you up."

Maybe her technique needed refining, but her intentions were right on. And though "cheering up" may not be exactly what we require, we certainly need encouragement -- pulling up -- at times. A heartfelt word of encouragement will quench a spirit parched by affliction as surely as a cup of cool water will refresh a dry and thirsty throat.

The need for sincere encouragement is basic among human beings. The Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C., displays the personal effects found on President Abraham Lincoln the night he was shot. They include a small handkerchief embroidered "A. Lincoln," a pen knife, a spectacle case repaired with cotton string, a Confederate five-dollar bill, and a worn-out newspaper clipping extolling his accomplishments as president. The article begins, "Abe Lincoln is one of the greatest statesmen of all time...."

Why would one of the most highly regarded leaders of American history carry around such a document? Did he not know his own worth? The answer is found in the fact that Lincoln was not as popular during his lifetime as he became after death. His leadership was under constant fire, he was frequently an object of ridicule in the press, and bitter critics dissected his every decision. He needed something to remind himself that, though battered by the disappointments of life and scorned by those he sought to lead, there were still also others who valued his contribution. There were still those, perhaps not as vocal, who believed in him. He, too, needed encouragement.

Do you need encouragement? There are those who will rally to your side. Educator Booker T. Washington observed, "There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up." There are people ready to pull you up when others are pushing down. We need those people in our lives; those who exert their strength by pulling us up.

I believe these people can be found everywhere. I believe that we can all become "pullers," lifting one another from dark pits of discouragement to the light of hope. And when that happens, the world will never be the same.