SSABlog#60

I come to the SSA column more often than anyone, and for many reasons. The most obvious is that I write the column. Anoother reason that I visit frequently is to view and try out our sponsors. The program we use for ads is Google. While I am not a fan of advertising per se, I have come to realize that I simply could not afford to spponsor this website myself. Given that it was ncessary to use advertising, I am relying on Google to have good ads to my readers. So of course I click often and visit the sponsors. What I have found, much to my own surprise, that there are services and products that I have found and used here on the SSA site. I do keep an eye out, but if there are ads that you find disturbing, please let me know. At the moment, only ads for tobacco products are blocked, and I am not seeing a problem there.

SO....Given all that, do click on a sponsor ad. Internet services, and marketing on the internet is the newest success and the way of the future. Some great information and products are out there for YOU...

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 8. We were both raised in religious families and waited until our wedding night to have sex (we married young). This caused many problems that we have worked through over the years and we are no longer religious. We have no children. About 3 years ago my husband "caught" me looking at online porn. I was going through a phase of curiosity and exploring my sexuality (after being taught that sex was dirty as a child). I was not having sex online or anything like that - just looking at pictures and reading about techniques. He responded in a scolding, fatherly, yet caring way. It bothers me to this day. I was a grown woman that was trying to educate myself about sex and the outside world, and he felt it was wrong. We have not spoken of it since.

There are other ways he judges and fathers me. I got my first tattoo (a tasteful and feminine butterfly on my shoulder) last year and he hates it. I would like to get another small tattoo, but he is totally against it. He tells me that he disapproves but it is my choice (like a father would). To make a long story short - I am now considering having an affair to free myself from his judgment. I will experience freedom of expression with someone else. I do not want to leave him, because in all other ways he is a good husband. I just obviously need someone else to "be myself" with. I constantly stand up for myself and confront him about the way he treats me. He thinks I am exaggerating and just says I'm emotionally unstable. I let him be himself, but he can't to the same for me.

Free Spirit in Missouri

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Dear Free Spirit:

Or should I say, you are married, you are not free spirit? It sounds like you are going through a time of personal growth and are looking to explore and experience more of the world. At the same time, you are finding that you husband is not in support of the direction in which you are headed, and I agree with him.

Before you make some dangerous mistakes, it is time for you and your husband to enter marriage counseling. You can discuss values and goals and the future and clarify what the next health moves will be. It is a concern that you thinking about acting out sexually. It's a rich topic for therapy.

Michelle

Michael Jordan

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek

out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the

hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers

through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that

you'll never walk alone.

Audrey Hepburn

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow;
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead;
Walk beside me, and just be my friend.
Albert Camus

Inspirational Reading

THOSE YOU TOUCH...YOU CHANGE by Steve Goodier

Did you know that your money likely has traces of cocaine on it?

A study by Jack Demirgian of the Argonne National Laboratory revealed

that a full 78% of the currency circulating in Miami and other major

US cities carries trace amounts of cocaine.

They were only looking for cocaine, but I wonder what else might be

found on the bills? Fast-food products, no doubt, such as French fry

grease, mustard, soft drink residue and coffee. And how about rouge

lipstick from purses and lint from pockets? I've seen everything from

ink to oil on money that has come my way, and more indistinguishable

stains than I care to remember.

And if they look closely enough, they can even tell something about

where that money has been! To the store. To the beach. Even hidden

beneath a mattress.

Just about anything that comes into contact with money leaves a bit

of itself behind. Then, when the bills rub up against each other in a

wallet or billfold, they share contaminates. Everything the bills

touch is changed, however slightly.

So it is with us. Everybody you and I speak to, rub shoulders with or

even smile at...is changed. These changes can be helpful or hurtful,

depending on our interaction. And even little changes can make a

difference. NO ONE is insignificant in this regard.

Bette Reeves said, "If you think you are too small to be effective,

you have never been in bed with a mosquito." I will surely affect

everybody I encounter - one way or another. And they will affect me.

will leave a bit of myself behind, and take a little piece of them

with me. Everybody.

There is something awe-inspiring about the influence we have on one

another. In your daily contacts, what will you leave behind, and what

will you take with you?

YOUR LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM, a free newsletter

sharing life, love and laughter, published by Steve Goodier.

http://www.lifesupportsystem.com