|
|
SSA Blog #45
By Michelle
Drew March 16 2006
|
About our
Sponsors...
The Google ads at the
top of each
page represent some really good offers. I click often, and find the ads
both useful and interesting. In fact, I have found resources and
information that I use in many aspects of my business and personal
affairs. Do take a few minutes to check out the offerings. The ad
clicks help us pay for this web site, and offer valuable opportunities.
Advice
Question
Dear Michelle,
I am 30 and recently got divorced
and am currently living with my
boyfriend. My ex-husband put a lot of debt in my name alone, and I got
stuck with all of it. Now until I file bankruptcy I can't even get a
job without having all
my wages garnished.
I lost my job and my grandmother
in November. It just hit me that I
have had to rely on a man ever since I was 17 and first on my own.
Everytime I have tried it alone I could never afford to survive. So I
think I came to believe I had to have a man to be okay. I love my
boyfriend but can't help thinking how much I put up with simply because
I can't afford to make it right now. I want advice as to how to get my
power back and get back on my feet. I appreciate you listening.
Brenda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Brenda;
You are on a healthy track. While
you have made some bad choices in men, you are learning about yourself
in the process. Finding your own needs, wants and dislikes does take
some experience and unfortunately most of us learn the most from our
bad experiences.
You may not need or want either of
the men you have chosen, but that does not mean that you need to be
alone. Joining a women's support group or an activity based group will
offer you the chance to share your time with interesting people and
learn how others are building positive lives.
Look at your current support
system. Who is included? For most, it is a mixture of family and
friends. Make a list of who is there to lend a shoulder when you need
it. What qualities do those people possess that make you feel
comfortable? Do you possess those qualities yourself? If you do, look
for a positive way to use them. Volunteering to assist older folks or
children can be exceptionally rewarding and really give you a sense of
purpose.
If you don't possess the good
qualities that you find comforting, you need to work on developing
them. There are plenty of books out on self-improvment and self-help,
or a good therapist can help you to seek out those qualities and learn
how to use them effectively.
Romantic love is a wonderful thing
that most people seek, and some with success. Those people have
something to offer to others, and are adept at compromise and
cooperation. They are also people who enter relationships as whole
people, not damaged people looking to complete themselves.
Use this down time of your life to
regroup and live. Fun and positive experiences, giving to others and
exploring yourself will help you to move to the next level of intimacy
in your next relationship. The better a person you become, the better
you will become at your relationships.
Recognizing the negative traits in
your current and past relationships will help you to not make the same
mistakes ahead. Enjoy life and make a difference to others. You may be
surprised at what good things will come your way when you live your
life the right way.
Michelle
All
Good Thoughts
There is
a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that
envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself
for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is
full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through
his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be kind, for
everyone you meet is fighting a battle.
John Watson
Dream
is the spark of passion;
talent is the firework of its expression;
perseverance, the sacred fire of its accomplishment.
Daniel Chabot
Reader Contribution
sent in by SueBee...
WHY DOGS
DON'T LIVE LONGER THAN PEOPLE
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish
Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and
their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker and they were
hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family
there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the
euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made
arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for
the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as
though Shane might learn something from the experience. The
next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last
time, that I wondered if he understood what wasgoing on.
Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy
seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or
confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering
aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned
me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good
life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice,
right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how
to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly.
Author Unknown
