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Let's lighten up for the impending weekend...

Rita Rudner

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read:

PRESIDENT CAN'T SWIM.

Lyndon B. Johnson 

Reader's Contribution sent in by Rodney...

Modern Day Confucius

Man with tight trousers,

pressing his luck.

Man who throw dirt,

losing ground.

He who live in stone house,

should not throw glasses.

Cow with no legs,

ground beef.

Two wrongs not make right,

but two rights make U-turn.

Bird in hand,

make difficult to blow nose.

Man trapped in pantry,

have butt in jam.

Man who eat too many prunes,

get good run for money.

War not determine who right,

war determine who left.

Naked man fear no pickpocket.

Squirrel who run up woman's leg,

not find nuts.

Support bacteria,

is only culture some people have.

Man who speak with forked tongue,

should not kiss balloons.

He who sit on upturned tack,

rise above all.

Handy Photos sent in by Suebee...