Soft Shoulder Advice and All Good Thoughts were conceived by me as a way of bringing positive thinking into the lives of our readership. Does that mean, especially since I write it nearly everyday, that I am always happy and joyful, walking around in a world of chocolate and flowers? Well, I wish that were the case, but in fact, like all of us, I have my good and bad days. In fact, I have had a couple of bad days just this week. What happened? Well, some people were hurtful and doubted my motivations. And I really hate getting kicked in the motivations.

Later that night, I couldn't sleep. Indeed, I was very upset. I was sad and angry, and feeling quite victimized. I sat in the dark for a long time, just thinking about how some bad thoughts by some nasty people had upset my peace of mind so badly. I thought about the inspirational quotes and essays that I read and write, and all the people that have expressed their gratitude. Due to the nature of life, each of my readers experiences ups and downs. So what could I, as an advice columnist and fellow human, do to help myself get over it.

The idea that I came up with may not ever put a man on mars per se, but it did work splendidly for me. Keep in mind, I sat in the dark for a very long time. What came forward for me was that this was not the last time that someone would be hurtful and that I wanted to do something that could help me through that and future times. What I did was to create an e-book that I call "Michelle's Book of Courage".

I knew that getting a good night of sleep was not even a possibility anymore, so I decided to use my time creating my e-book, my tool to just hang on until the going got smoother. I read many quotes and essays each day. I do it for myself as well as my readers. There are so many that I just love and love to share. But some, to me, are special. They just resonate with me, and my particular thoughts and feelings. They are ideas that seem to reach into my soul and let me know that someone out there feels the same way. By and large, I think that that is true for all of us. Some things are nice and inspirational, while other things just really hit home. As people differ by nature, different thoughts and quotes are more meaningful to different people.
 
So what I did was search my archives for essays and quotes that spoke to me of courage. I chose ones that did resonate with me personally, and put them in my e-book. By the time I finished, I felt better. Much better in fact. Finding and reading them was wonderfully comforting, but putting them in a book, creating a tool that I could use in the future, was empowering. Finally, I was able to sleep.

Well today, due to many of the same factors as earlier in the week, I had the beginnings of another just plain bad day. But this time I was not going to allow those same folks to steal my peace of mind again. So what did I do? I took out "Michelle's Book of Courage" and read it again. And it worked, again. The book, this self-created tool, was able to help me feel better and in control. The nasty people were not able to touch me. Because my e-book was there to remind me of what was important to me. The quotes and essays that I had picked reached out and grabbed my heart. And I was OK.

So, I would like to recommend to each of you, that a "Book of Courage" might be a useful thing to create. Assume that there will be bad days in your life coming up. Then, prepare for them. Go through quotes and essays from your personal stash, from our archives and from anywhere else you find them. Pick the ones that scream out to you. If you are not having a bad day, think of one you have had, and how you felt on those days. Pick quotes and essays that make you see the strength in yourself, and the smallness of those people or events that are challenging your peace of mind. You can call it your book of courage or pretty much anything else you want to because it is your custom designed tool for bad times.

Take it out when you need it. Add to it when you find quotes and essays that resonate with you. There is no wrong way to do it, no rules and no costs. What it will do is give you a sense of empowerment when you need it most. It will help you feel that at least in some ways, you can prepare in advance for things that are hurtful or disheartening that in all probability will occur at some point in the future. When your best friend is out of town and your mother just doesn't understand, you will have a good tool to make yourself feel better, something to at least hang on to until things smooth out again.

I hope that you will try it, and that it will work. Not that it will replace a good cry or a self-imposed time out, but when you are ready to take back the reins of your life, it will be there for you, in the special and unique way that is meaningful to the special and unique you.